As I’ve gotten older I no longer have patience for small talk. It just feels like a waste of time. I want to know the real deep-down shit about people. What makes them tick? When were they most happy in their lives? What’s been their biggest disappointment or failure? How did they bounce back? Where do they want to be in ten years? Any bucket list items they’re eager to check off? If they could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? 1:1 dialogue is where it’s at. That’s where you learn the stuff about people that makes you feel something. It’s the same reason I love to read biographies. I want to know the essence of someone, not the superficial, surface-level bullshit (you the human > you the public persona). Over the past year I’ve read the following memoirs:
The Light We Carry by Michelle Obama
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry
The Storyteller by Dave Grohl
Oath and Honor by Liz Cheney
Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey
The Truths We Hold by Kamala Harris
Be Useful by Arnold Schwarzenegger
A Life in Parts by Bryan Cranston
What I Know For Sure by Oprah Winfrey
From Here to the Great Unknown by Lisa Marie Presley
Born A Crime by Trevor Noah
Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain
A Very Punchable Face by Colin Jost
It’s a Long Story by Willie Nelson
Being Henry by Henry Winkler
Yes Please by Amy Poehler
I enjoyed them all for different reasons, and I intentionally chose a diverse range of people to learn about. Each of these authors is highly introspective and ultimately found success in their chosen field. But before they did, they all dealt with various setbacks and differing degrees of self doubt. Some were unable to overcome their demons (Matthew Perry, Lisa Marie Presley, Anthony Bourdain). Others became stronger as a result of their adversity. Each have led fascinating lives and all have left a lasting mark on the world in some way. Perhaps most importantly what they share in common is that they are all indelibly human. That’s why I want to learn someone’s real story, and have no time for the highlight reels they post on social media. The more I learn about other people the more I learn about myself, and the more I’m ultimately convinced that we’re all pretty much the same, except for Oprah – she’s the chosen one! 🙂 Bottom line how about we all cut the bullshit and start being real…
JQ Rising 