Lessons For My Granddaughter

My first grandchild, Elena, entered the world on 5/31/25. I haven’t been this happy or excited about anything for a very long time. Whenever I’m with her my cup is full. Being a grandparent is the best. It’s all the good things about being a parent with none of the responsibility. When I was a new parent at twenty five years old, I didn’t know shit. I was just trying to keep my kids alive and love them, while also trying to make a living. At the time I didn’t have much to teach them about how to approach life or their eventual careers. Twenty five years later I know a few more things. I plan on teaching Elena all the things I would have taught my children had I known them at the time:

1) Trust your gut

Steve Jobs said it best: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” In other words, you do you. You alone are the author of your story and can edit it at any time

2) Comparison is the killer of joy

Appreciate what you’ve got, and pay no attention to little miss next to you – remember that song? 🙂 Someone will always have more than you or be superior to you in some way. Accept it, and try to find a way to be happy for them instead of envious. I struggle with this daily, but training the mind is like training a puppy. The work is never done. Instead of worrying so much about other people’s lives, try to focus on all the goodness in yours. Limiting your time on social media is a great place to start 🙂

3) Never complete a negative thought

This one is inspired by Henry Winkler’s autobiography, Being Henry. He advises to never complete a negative thought. Instead you should interrupt it by saying something like, “I have no time for that now”, or by replacing the negative thought with a positive one. Winkler’s example of a positive thought is “moist chocolate Bundt cake,” but you can think of whatever is positive for you. The point is if you allow yourself to complete a negative thought it will send you to a negative place, and it’s easy to spiral from there. If you always keep yourself in a positive mindset you will always have positive momentum. You should also read Being Henry. It’s very entertaining and Henry Winkler may be the nicest human alive   

4) Choose your tribe wisely

Humans are social creatures and we have an intrinsic need for belonging. Be sure to surround yourself with people who lift you up, not bring you down. Don’t ever stay in a relationship or a job with the latter

5) Strive for meaning over happiness

Happiness will come and go, but meaning will give you something to hold onto. “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful…” – Ralph Waldo Emerson. One of the pillars of a meaningful life is purpose. Finding your purpose is less about what you want, and more about what you can offer the world. Use your strengths to succeed and help others along the way. Good things will follow

6) Choose hard 

Embrace doing hard things. When making big decisions in your life or career, don’t be tempted to take the easy path. It’ll always be there. All growth happens on the hard path, the one where you’re pushed outside of your comfort zone. I’ve chosen the easy path and I’ve chosen the hard path. Turns out all the good stuff in my life was waiting just on the other side of the hard one

7) Just keep swimming!

You’re going to make plenty of mistakes and do some things you’re not proud of. Learn and be better. Focus on progress over perfection. And most importantly try to live in the present. Too much looking forward makes it hard to appreciate what’s right in front of you. Too much looking back keeps you stuck in the past. Yesterday’s gone and tomorrow isn’t promised. Find joy in the simple things and try to maximize every moment. Putting your phone away is a great place to start 🙂

8) Believe and you will achieve

Sometimes you’ll feel inspired, like you can accomplish anything. Other times you’ll feel small, like the world is against you. It’s all about perspective and self-imposed barriers. The only limiting factor is you. Ignore the self doubt, everyone feels it sometimes. Believe in yourself, and you are capable of anything

9) Always play the game in a skillful state

If you go the business route for your career, always remember that work is a game. You must control the narrative to survive and advance. The best way is with maximum effort and always being coachable <insert shameless plug here> You can also read my book, Rise! Available through Amazon or Barnes & Noble 

10) Be a good human

At times you will be faced with choices that will test your character and integrity. Try to always do the right thing and treat people the way you’d like to be treated. You’ll sleep better at night, and I believe karma is ultimately a determining factor in your life’s fate. Plus the world needs more kindness